INQUEST

INQUEST
ONE CAN START FROM where HE IS REALLY JUST NOW. AS THE INQUEST RELATED TO ME ONLY, SOME OBVIUOUS QUESTIONS ARISES NATURALLY.FIRST OF ALL “ WHO I AM ?” Do I know me exactly? Is it not my perception , thinking, assumption, or pretentions? I am not known to myself. the real “I “has not yet introduced himself or through some other media. Through writings, illustrations, deliberations, suggestions, advises, interactions, whatever I came to know is not clear. It’s shadowy, hazy, shady, unreal ,or illusionary. My so called knowledge never confirms the beliefs. When the base or foundation is not created, how a building can be constructed ? my physical ,mental, intellectual existences are now at stake, as I’m feeling deeply. where should I go with this unknown stranger? Let me took a look into my physical or bodily existence. It’s a mysterious machine said to be made of some five elements, which never feel to ultimate reality. the functions of the organs are autonomous, or unconscious. Mechanisms also not known in normal state. Only in some deranged or disrupt conditions, something reveals externally or internally discomfort, which is called a diseased condition. when abnormality is seemed to be normal condition, absolute normalcy is quite untouched , unveiled. Naturally many relevant questions arise. am I a normal human being ? I’m in doubt or better to express or find myself in opposite pole. I may have all sensations, feelings, in different scale or quality or quantity, in quite individualistic manners, with deep fellow feelings, which makes me so hurt ,pained, disgust, disappointed and more awkward senses. The doubt derived from inner senses make me bewildered, restless, blind, inconclusive, indifferent, sentimental, madly element. The eye or imagination or perceptions through which I observe this worldly activities are not so practical as other saw. This is quite acceptable that everyone see, observe through his own eyes. difference of witnessing things is natural, real, logical. I can not control others thought, sensitivities, feelings. When I’m not under my own control, should I expect anybody else to be controlled? Never, not at all. oppressions, suppressions, expressions refers for oneself only. am I regulated, controlled, honest to myself ? it pretends to be a good, honest, sincere, full of other positive qualities but am I exactly so ? or act to be like that ? sometime in all these cases, I feel myself guilty or doubt. What does it indicate. It clearly reflects my doubtful existence. Duality in all spheres indicates abnormality. Logically I’m a stupid, non-sense, abnormal illogical so called wretched creature in this universe.