Men have troubles to read woman

RESEARCH has established that women talk 20,000 words per day as against 7,000 by men. But, all that talk doesn't seem to help, as women continue to throw up their hands as the men continue to get it wrong, every time!
A new study says men have trouble reading non-verbal cues. So, women, the
next time you twitch your eyebrow or pull a face and your male friend looks unperturbed, don't fret… Men are from Mars and women are from Venus, remember?
Lack of communication has been termed as the bane of modern life. Understanding non-verbal cues has therefore become more significant. Sociologist Rajib Haldar feels that it is high time men enrolled for classes or read books on the subject. "Knowledge about the significance of non-verbal communication will help men understand and appreciate others' gestures. This can even help them clarify their own personal, professional and social traits, ensuring truly evolved men," explains Haldar.
Men often complain about women saying "yes" when they want to say "no" or vice versa and then blowing their top for not being understood. If they paid a little more attention to a woman's expressions while she speaks, it would be easier to understand the 'yes' in the 'no'.
Body language expert, Rita Gangwani, maintains that understanding nonverbal cues is important for smooth communication.
"Supremacy of non-verbal cues in communication has already been spoken for. Research says seven per cent of the message is verbally communicated, while 93 per cent is nonverbally transmitted. Of the 93 per cent non-verbal communication, 38 per cent happens through vocal tones and 55 per cent through body language, which includes facial expressions, postures and gestures," says Gangwani.
Ability to read non-verbal cues can bring a person closer, make the relationship warmer, affirms Reeta Sonawat, professor and head, Department of Human Development, SNDT Women's University, Mumbai. "Women have a natural advantage. Being a mother, she is more tuned to non-verbal cues since she has to attend to infants. She understands the difference between a cry for hunger and for a nappy change. It has a lot to do with our evolution. Men were supposed to protect and women to feed. Hence, men are more physical in nature and women emotional," says Sonawat.
Eye contact is one of the necessities of non-verbal communication for a woman. She judges the man quite often from the way he looks or doesn't look! And this is often misread by her male counterpart. Her concentrated look or accompanying smile is considered to be an invitation — for friendship, or something more than that.
What men forget is that 'hansi to phansi' is not a universal phenomenon. Many more subtle non-verbal cues than the smile are involved when a woman wants to project her interest. However, most men do not understand this.
Rita Gangwani explains, "Men are not good at picking up subtler nuances. For them, everything has to be literal. Women tend to be better at receiving body language messages, especially when it comes to noticing inconsistencies between body language and verbal language."
The best man in a woman's life; her husband or boyfriend can misread and end up clueless about her outburst. Men primarily do not pay attention to understated expressions. Everything has to be in bold print for them to comprehend.
There is a scientific reason for this superfine distinction. Women process messages using around 16 different parts of their brain at one time, while men process messages using about six or seven different parts of their brain at one time. So, women pick up minute details of everything from a flicker of an eyelid to the pressure of a touch. That also makes them better listeners and observers.
Men think that they are intelligent because women allow them to think so — well, most of the time, anyway! Since men usually miss out on initial non-verbal subtleties, they cannot figure out the later reactions.
The bottomline: Confused men should remember that they missed out on a vital non-verbal cue, which has resulted in the outburst of their woman.
And…it is important that they take a crash course on understanding non-verbal communications.

GENDER SPEAK: MEN

Men interrupt or speak over others to assert themselves and their role.

Men establish less eye contact.

Men use fewer facial expressions to convey emotions.

Men rely on more open body positions (no crossed legs or crossed arms).

Men use more gestures (actions of the body in reacting to something or someone).

Men touch others more, value touch less and are touched less by others.

Men use more non-verbal cues of power or status to indicate a degree of influence or control.

Men are better at map reading.


GENDER SPEAK: WOMEN

Women wait their turn to speak so talk can be shared among equals.

Women ask questions to invite others into the conversation and show interest in others' ideas.

Women establish more eye contact.

Women use more facial expressions, fewer gestures to convey emotions.

Women rely on more closed body positions.

Women touch others less, value touch more and are touched more by others.

Women are more sensitive to expressions. For example, they are quicker to note even the twitch of an eyebrow.



LEARN BETTER NON-VERBAL CUES

Observe the eyes. That shows you're interested.

Look straight into the eyes of your female company. Eye level above her shows a sign of dominance which she may not like.

Keep body postures open. For example, when you are listening to a person, do not cross your arm, because that brings a physical and mental barrier, thereby obstructing free flow of conversation.

When talking, don't try to touch your face or any part of her face because then the message you are trying to convey may not be taken as genuine.

If you're not intimate with her or don't know her too well, please do not touch her, she will misinterpret and withdraw.

Eye contact should be 'consistent' and 'useful' while communicating.

You should note at least three signals of non-verbal cues at a time to read the body language correctly.